What if a recipe blog read like a true crime story?

Sometimes a dish is so good it can make your day better, and sometimes a dish is so good that it ruins your entire life. This recipe for Nona Szlecco’s Homemade Cheesy Casserole is definitely the latter!

In May of 2002, Jeffery Pinzler was enjoying a day like any other when he met Kelseigh Szlecco. He was immediately smitten, her warm smile and bright blue eyes matched the glow of her personality. They hit it off immediately and within a few months were already talking about spending the rest of their lives together. Eventually, it was time for Jeff to meet her family. That’s when everything took a turn. 

It was a warm August evening when Jeff and Kelseigh made the trek out to her Nona’s house for a family dinner. Jeff was an immediate hit with all the family members in attendance, her brother Jayksyn and her uncle Steve quickly recruited him into the family Mario Kart tournament, and would both later say that he “seemed like a cool dude”. How soon their opinions would change…

Dinner was served, and that's when the trouble started. You see, Jeffery had been raised in household where home cooked meals usually meant that something from the freezer was warmed in the oven. When he took his first bite of Nona Szlecco’s Homemade Cheesy Casserole something changed within him. Eyes: dilated. Pulse: quickened. He was instantly obsessed. The flavor combination of cheddar and fontina cheeses on top of the perfectly cooked potatoes, all topped with a crunchy potato chip crumble is enough to lure almost anyone into a life of crime. Jeffery was no exception. 

He knew that he needed to have it again, and that he wouldn't be able to wait. His first thought was clear, he’d simply ask for the recipe. Unfortunately, Nona Szlecco was quite proud of the recipe she’d developed over the years, and refused to share it with Jeffery. “I can’t give away my secret recipe” she said with a soft smile, “but I will tell you that the most important part is my secret ingredient, but that secret has to be taken to the grave”. Everyone at the table gave a chuckle and moved onto dessert, but Jeffery couldn’t even taste the scotcharoos that Kelseigh had brought. He was too busy ruminating on plan B. 

For the rest of the night, he kept an eye on Nona, waiting for a chance to strike. When she moved to the kitchen to start doing dishes, he made his move. He followed her to the kitchen and insisted that he help with the washing up. She didn’t turn down the help and he was handed a towel and started drying dishes. It was perfect. The recipe had to be in here somewhere. And once he spotted it he’d be able to sneak a photo of it and be on his way to endless delicious servings of Nona Szlecco’s Homemade Cheesy Casserole. After 10 minutes of drying and putting away dishes, he spotted it. A simple hand-written recipe card was sitting next to the stove. This was it. His blood ran cold, and his hands started shaking. Nona was on the other side of the kitchen putting silverwear away. Now was his chance. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera. He picked up the card and held it as steady as he could. 

“That should do it”! Nona’s voice made him jump. He turned, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Oh, I’ll take that, thank you! Can’t have my secret recipe left out in the open” she said with a chuckle as she took the card from his hand and put it away. In a recipe box. On the second shelf. In the cabinet next to the fridge. 

Weeks passed. Life moved on. For everyone except Jeffery. All he could think about was a recipe box. On the second shelf. In the cabinet next to the fridge. It was time for plan C. Kelseigh was gone for the night, out on the town for her sister Ashleigh’s bachelorette party. Jeffery got into his 1992 Ford Fiesta just as the sun went down with a single destination in mind: the recipe box, on the second shelf, in the cabinet next to the fridge. It was just a bit after midnight when he put the car in neutral and killed the lights and engine to coast into Nona Szlecco’s driveway. The car door barely made a sound on freshly oiled hinges as he crept out and made his way to the back door. Kelseigh had joked a few times about how old fashion Nona was, that she kept a key hidden right order the doormat. Sure enough, a well worn brass key greeted him when he lifted the corner of the welcome mat, ironically emblazoned with the words “Nona’s house, good meals and warm hugs!”. 

 It was just after midnight. The house was pitch black, Nona must’ve been in bed for hours by now. Jeffery knew he’d have no issue sneaking into the recipe box on the second shelf, in the cabinet next to the fridge. He’d be in and out in less than five minutes, and with a stop at the 24 hour grocery store on his way home he’d be enjoying Nona Szlecco’s Homemade Cheesy Casserole before the sun rose. 

He turned the key in the lock without a sound and let himself in, the door making the faintest of groans as it swung. He made his way through the dining room towards the kitchen, hardly concerned by the faint squeaks of the floorboards,which were much too quiet to wake an old lady on the second floor. His pulse quickened and his vision narrowed as soon as the kitchen came into view. It felt like an eternity, but in less than a minute he was standing in front of the cabinet next to the fridge. With shaking hands, he opened the cabinet, which let out an uncomfortable creak, but he was too close to his goal now to pause. He reached in and pulled the recipe box from the second shelf, his hands shaking with adrenaline causing it to rattle against a few of the mason jars that served as Nona’s drinkwear. 

Opening the box revealed the fruit of his misdeed: the recipe card for Nona Szlecco’s Homemade Cheesy Casserole. He set the card on the counter and pulled out his phone to take a photo. He heard his heart pounding as he opened the camera, then he heard something else. A thump and a grunt, from behind him. He spun around in time to see a man with wild eyes in the flash of the camera before everything went black to the sound of a crash. 

“Jeffery?! Jeffery is that you?” Nona’s voice floated into his ears as his eyes opened. 

“Nona you know this guy?” The wild eyed man was pacing behind Nona, who had knelt over Jeffery to try and revive him and was holding something near his head. 

“Yes! This is Jeffery, he’s Kelseigh’s boyfriend! But why is he here? Why are you here Jeffery?”

Jeffery tried to assess the situation. It was bad. His head was pounding. And, wet? He was bleeding. Badly. There was broken glass all around him. He could see Nona, but he couldn’t focus his vision. He was dizzy. “Nona, who is that? 

“That’s Henreigh, Kelseigh’s brother, he’s staying here over Ashleigh’s wedding weekend. What are you doing here Jeffery?”

“I’m so sorry Nona, I’m so sorry. I needed to know…” his voice tapered off for a second, as he noticed the room growing darker. “The recipe… I needed to know…” he held up the recipe card that was still clutched in his left hand. He tried to read it but his vision was too faded, and the room grew darker. “I needed to know the secret ingredient…”

Nona surveyed the situation, and turned to her grandson. “Henreigh, go outside and call the police. Tell them we need an ambulance, and wait out there till it arrives.” 

Henreigh began to protest, but a quick scolding sent him out the door, dialing 911. Nona turned back to Jeffery, the wound on his head where Henreigh had smashed her favorite vase had bled through the towel that she was holding over it, and blood was pooling around his head. She knew her secret would be safe. 

“Oh Jeffery, the secret ingredient, is love.”

NONA SZLECCO’S HOMEMADE CHEESY CASSEROLE

hotpot.ai/art-generator

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup butter, plus more for the casserole dish

• 1 yellow onion, diced

• 3 cloves garlic

• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

• 3 cups vegetable or chicken stock

• 2 cups grated cheddar cheese

• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

• 30 ounces frozen hash browns

• 1 bag ruffles potato chips, gently crushed

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Lightly butter or grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.

2. Make the cheese sauce: In a medium pot, melt 1/4 cup butter over medium heat. Add diced onions and cook for 3 to 4 minutes until onions turn translucent but not browned. Then add minced garlic and cook for 30 seconds.Stir in flour and continue to cook for a minute or two until the flour turns a tan color. Slowly whisk in stock and bring sauce to a slight simmer. The sauce will thicken as it heats. Once the sauce is thick like gravy, stir in the cheddar cheese and season with salt and pepper. Remove from heat.

3. Combine the potatoes and the sauce: In a large bowl add the frozen hash browns and pour the sauce over the hash browns. Stir together well to combine and transfer to the prepared baking dish. Smooth the top.

4. Bake the casserole: Place the casserole in the center rack of your oven and bake for 45 minutes at 400°F. Then turn on the broiler and broil for 5 minutes on high to crisp up the top of the casserole. If your casserole dish is not broiler-safe, then turn the oven up to 500°F and bake for 3 more minutes.

5. Serve: Let the casserole cool slightly but serve while warm, spreading crushed potato chips on top before serving. Leftovers keep in the fridge for 5 days. Reheat in the microwave until warmed through.